Carmen Ali aka April Fiasco

Comedian, Actor, Burlesque Performer, & Writer

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  • Why can’t strip clubs re-open?

    Why can’t strip clubs re-open?

    As coronavirus swept over the UK & the rest of the world, many businesses including bars, pubs, theatres and clubs – including strip clubs – were forced to close. A few months’ later and pubs and bars have been allowed to re-open, but strip clubs remain shut with no clear indication of when strippers will…

    carmenaliblogger

    August 13, 2020
    Feminism, Lifestyle, Performing, Politics, sex, Work
    Cybertease, Online work, Only Fans, sex work, strip clubs, stripping, Virtual strip club
  • Ode to the penis

    Ode to the penis

    I need to peeCystitis has reared its ugly head againThis is our punishment For heterosexual sex My vibrator never gives me a UTIOr thrushOr makes me panic that I’m pregnant Dicks are the devilWith balls as their delicate hornsCreating fire in our vaginas And our minds The flaccid dick seems so innocentVulnerable – soft and sensitive Until the…

    carmenaliblogger

    March 19, 2020
    sex
    cranberries, cystitis, penetration, penis, sex
  • 10 Fun Things To Learn How To Do

    10 Fun Things To Learn How To Do

    One of the main problems I have in life is that I like too many things. I want to get better at German, while learning to play the piano, going to aerial hoop classes, and roller-skating backwards. I find it hard to focus, which means I try everything, and never really get good at anything.…

    carmenaliblogger

    February 22, 2019
    Hobbies, Life, Lifestyle
    Bubblegum, Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Challenges, Diving, Hobbies, Learning, Pole Dance, Pole Dancing, Skills, Swimming Pool
  • My First Orgasm

    My First Orgasm

    It was the spring of 2008, I was on the phone to my boyfriend at the time, we were having phone sex, and I was using my bullet vibrator. He was talking dirty to me about all the kinky things he was going to do to me, and suddenly all this liquid came out of…

    carmenaliblogger

    January 11, 2019
    sex
    female ejaculation, female orgasm, masturbation, Orgasm, peeing, porn, self love, sex, sex toys, Squirting, vibrators, Womanizer
  • What’s it like to be figged?

    What’s it like to be figged?

    I found out what figging was circa 2007, and became curious about wanting to try it. Figging is the technical term for putting a piece of ginger inside someone’s arsehole.

    carmenaliblogger

    April 30, 2018
    sex
    anal, bondage, butt plug, figged, figging, ginger, honey, kink, kinky sex, rope, sex, whip, whipping
  • Generic new year new diet bullshit blog post

    Generic new year new diet bullshit blog post

    I never agreed with diets. I thought they were unnecessary, ridiculous, and shallow. I love Kate Moss, but when she said ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’, I thought ‘oh fuck off’ and reached for the pizza. But then I was 7 and a half stone for most of my late teens and early…

    carmenaliblogger

    January 6, 2018
    Feminism, Life
    Carmen Ali, diet, diets, feminism, food, Kate Moss, New Year, New Year’s Resolutions, weight, weight loss
  • Goodbye Monogamy Hello Polyamory

    Goodbye Monogamy Hello Polyamory

    When I was younger, I just assumed that all romantic relationships were monogamous, and that as soon as you had the boyfriend / girlfriend conversation you would only be with that person. Because that’s the reality that society, TV, and the film industry sells to you. I did have a couple of relationships in my…

    carmenaliblogger

    November 20, 2017
    dating, Love, sex
    A History of the World in Ten and Half Chapters, candle wax, cheating, chess, dating, Eckhart Tolle, infidelity, kink, kinky, kinky sex, Mavis Gallant, monogamish, monogamy, non monogamy, OkCupid, online dating, polyamory, relationships, role play, sex, Sploshing, stripping, The Power of Now, WAM, water, Wet and Messy Fetish
  • Fucking, foreplay, and heteronormativity

    Fucking, foreplay, and heteronormativity

    The other day I wrote something about having sex with a 20 year old (guy), with the caveat that I had done it before, but only with two other people in my lifetime. A woman I slept with a few times at University commented ‘weren’t we 19 when we met?’ And it drew attention to…

    carmenaliblogger

    November 9, 2017
    Feminism, sex, Uncategorized
    cunnilingus, fingering, foreplay, fucking, Game of Thrones, hetereonormative, heteronormativity, Misfits, penis, PinV, PIV, sex, sexual experience, sexual intercourse, strap-on, the patriarchy, vagina, vaginal intercourse, virginity
  • Hit the Road, Jack

    Hit the Road, Jack

    I went back on OkCupid because in no particular order: I don’t learn my lessons. 2. Sex. I started talking to a guy called Jack. We texted quite a lot before meeting, bonding over our mutual love of Peep Show, Venn diagrams, and roller-coasters

    carmenaliblogger

    September 19, 2017
    dating, sex
    dating, karaoke, kinky sex, OkCupid, online dating, sex
  • It’s just a little crush

    It’s just a little crush

    Our first date was the best date I’ve ever had. We went ice skating at Ally Pally ice rink. We got there too early, so walked around the gardens first. I fancied him as soon as I saw him, and I could tell he fancied me too.

    carmenaliblogger

    August 17, 2017
    dating, sex
    90s, 90s nostalgia, break-up, candle wax, chess, dating, ice skating, Jennifer Paige, karaoke, kinky sex, online dating, pegging, strap-on, Tinder
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