What’s it like to be figged?

I found out what figging was circa 2007, and became curious about wanting to try it out. Figging is the technical term for putting a piece of ginger inside someone’s arsehole, which brings a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘spicing up your sex life’ #sorrynotsorry. Anyway, the idea is also to get whipped while the ginger is in there, because you can’t clench, so it hurts more.

In November I was on a first date with someone, we were in a pub kissing, and talking about kinky sex, and he happened to mention that he had tried it on himself once. Considering most people don’t even know what it is, I was very excited by the fact he had actually done it. He said he couldn’t remember exactly what it was like, only that it hurt a bit. This only made me more intrigued to feel it for myself.

The third time we met up, he came over and brought me some ginger as a joke. We didn’t use it that night, but the next time he came round I asked him to fig me. He’s generally not very practical, but he managed to peel the ginger and shape it into a butt plug. I had this idea that I wanted to be tied up, covered in honey, and figged. I usually like food stuff with clothes on, but for this time I felt like wanted to feel the honey on my skin.

He stripped me and tied me to the bed on my hands and knees with some coarse rope an ex once bought me from Homebase, that I’d never used, but I felt it would go with the fantasy. With figging, apparently you’re not supposed to use lube, so you can feel the stinging of the ginger juices, so he put the ginger inside me with no warm up, and wow it was painful.

He proceeded to whip me, and I remember feeling like I couldn’t take it as much as usual. I even told him not to pour the honey all over me in the end, as the whole experience was already too overwhelming. In my fantasy I had wanted him to fuck me with the ginger still in there for some double penetration, but I couldn’t handle the ginger any longer, and asked him to take it out before fucking me. He fucked me doggy style until he came inside me (or was it on my face that time?), and then left me with my sore arsehole and shame for being so not as hardcore as I think I am.

Figging lessons and conclusion:

I do feel like I was a total pussy about it, but next time I would do it a bit differently, so that I could take it better. I would probably have a drink or two beforehand – as I was stone cold sober it was harder to relax. I would ask the person to use lube and finger me first – the lube would wear off eventually, but it would have been easier if lube was used to start with, as the main problem for me seemed to be the size, rather than the juices. I’m also used to the thing inside my anus moving – e.g. a dick, so having the ginger just stuck there didn’t feel as comfortable for me (although he said that he finds the opposite is true and likes the feeling of just being filled). 

I wished afterwards that he had covered me in honey – we did do some stuff with honey another time after that and it was a lot of fun, but it was mostly me pouring it on him, so it would be good for me to properly experience that. I also got my revenge recently by fucking him with my strap-on, but that’s another story…

Dreams Can Come True

Until recently, the last time I received anal sex was in 2012. A one point I thought there was something wrong with my anus from having too much anal, so I stopped because of that (turns out it’s fine), but it was mainly because I started to realise the double standards around anal, and how some men were expecting us to be willing to be fucked in the arse, when some of them would freak out if you even tried to put a finger in there. So I made a rule not to let a guy fuck me in the anally, unless he was willing to let me fuck him anally. I still allowed fingers and thumbs (and some anal beads one time), but for 5 years no dick crossed the threshold.

I bought a strap on because it was my dream to peg a guy, but the only time it ever got used was when I had sex with women. One day in early 2014, a guy I had fucked a couple of times asked me to use it on him, but I wasn’t mentally prepared for it, and we hadn’t had sex for a while, so I said ‘just fuck me first and then maybe we can do that after’. Sadly that time he came really quickly, left, and I never saw him again. I regretted not doing it for ages. But maybe it wasn’t meant to be with him. After all, your first time is supposed to be special.

I’ve heard the line that a lot of straight men don’t want something in there because they think it’s a bit ‘gay’, but that’s bullshit. Also, have you ever heard a straight woman say they don’t want to receive oral sex because ‘that’s what lesbians do’?! No, of course not.  The irony of men wanting to fuck women in the arse and not wanting it in return is that men have actually got a g-spot up in there and WE DON’T. One of my female friends recently received anal for the first time from her male partner and afterwards when she said it was just ‘ok’ he said ‘but don’t you have a prostate up there?’ 

HEAD DESK.

I blame mainstream porn.

Anyway, I enforced my rule very well, until my crazy sex night in March, then in April I started dating a guy from Tinder. We had sex on the third date (I know I said I was going to wait to get to know someone more first, but I wanted to fuck him too much to wait any longer). He put his finger inside my arsehole,  and the next time I put my finger in his. I asked him whether he would let me fuck him with my strap-on, and he said ‘probably’, and I thought he might, because he seemed very sexually open minded, but I wasn’t totally sure. But on the 5th date, I was super horny, so I fucked the rules again, and told him he could do it to me.

I know some women, who have said that anal can feel quite good – perhaps their vaginal wall is quite thin, so it’s more easily stimulated, but some others do just find it uncomfortable. For me, I quite enjoy the fact that it hurts, and that it’s causing me pain while giving them pleasure. It was nice that he fingered me for a while first and used lots of lube though, which meant the pain wasn’t overwhelming, like it has been in the past sometimes when guys just stick it in.

On the 6th date, he came to one of my gigs (I did my anal sex joke about the double standards), and then when we got home I asked if he really was going to let me do it to him. He said ‘What now? Ok.’ and having learnt my lesson from my last missed opportunity, I did not waste any time in getting out some lube and starting to finger him.

I sucked his cock while putting my fingers inside and eventually worked my way up to four fingers. My strap-on is quite thick, so he definitely needed this. I had previously searched online for good positions for pegging, so decided to try some of these out. One of them was him lying face down (which I particularly enjoyed because I could pull his hair while doing this), and the other was me sitting on the edge of the bed while he backed onto me.

We did briefly try him lying on his back with me on top but he found it too painful, which is a shame, as I wanted to be able to look him in the eyes while fucking him. I didn’t do doggy style, as a man in that position doesn’t really appeal to me – I like my men to be submissive, but not that submissive. But I would have liked to try some other positions, maybe lying on our sides or standing up against a wall, or fucking him over a table while pushing his head into a container of water. You know, all the classics. 

I found it quite difficult to fuck him and stimulate his dick at the same time, and I definitely think he enjoyed the fingering and blow job more than the actual pegging, (enjoying the foreplay more than the penetration – welcome to our world), but obviously it was my first time doing it to a guy, so there is still lots to learn. The best thing about it was that he trusted me enough to let me do it to him, and was willing to let me live out a fantasy. 

Obviously the main difference between a woman fucking a guy with a strap-on and a man fucking a women’s arsehole, is that the strap on is not part of me, so I am not getting the same physical enjoyment. My strap-on can vibrate, but this was not close enough to my clit for me to feel the effect from it. So for me, fucking a guy like this is more of a mental turn onIt did make me feel powerful, and happy that even though I had let him do it first, technically I hadn’t broken my rule again.

In my joke, I say that it’s my dream to do it while listening to the Spice Girls, because that’s true Girl Power, then I say I’m only joking – I’d do it to Blurred Lines, as that would be more appropriate. But there wasn’t really a right moment to stop and open up Spotify to put on my pre-prepared Spice Girls/Blurred Lines playlist. I also think it would be fun to dress up while doing it, in heels and my dominatrix style dress. Maybe next time I can do all this. Hopefully I will get to do it again in the future, whether that’s with him or with someone else.

So in the words of Gabrielle, dreams can come true, and yes, it’s not always when or exactly how you expect them to, but I’m glad I have finally found a guy not constrained by gender norms and expectations, and not afraid to try something new…