Ode to the penis
I need to peeCystitis has reared its ugly head againThis is our punishment For heterosexual sex My vibrator never gives me a UTIOr thrushOr makes me panic that I’m pregnant Dicks are the devilWith balls as their delicate hornsCreating fire in our vaginas And our minds The flaccid dick seems so innocentVulnerable – soft and sensitive Until the…
My First Orgasm
It was the spring of 2008, I was on the phone to my boyfriend at the time, we were having phone sex, and I was using my bullet vibrator. He was talking dirty to me about all the kinky things he was going to do to me, and suddenly all this liquid came out of…
What’s it like to be figged?
I found out what figging was circa 2007, and became curious about wanting to try it. Figging is the technical term for putting a piece of ginger inside someone’s arsehole.
Goodbye Monogamy Hello Polyamory
When I was younger, I just assumed that all romantic relationships were monogamous, and that as soon as you had the boyfriend / girlfriend conversation you would only be with that person. Because that’s the reality that society, TV, and the film industry sells to you. I did have a couple of relationships in my…
Fucking, foreplay, and heteronormativity
The other day I wrote something about having sex with a 20 year old (guy), with the caveat that I had done it before, but only with two other people in my lifetime. A woman I slept with a few times at University commented ‘weren’t we 19 when we met?’ And it drew attention to…
Hit the Road, Jack
I went back on OkCupid because in no particular order: I don’t learn my lessons. 2. Sex. I started talking to a guy called Jack. We texted quite a lot before meeting, bonding over our mutual love of Peep Show, Venn diagrams, and roller-coasters
Dreams Can Come True
I started to realise the double standards around anal, and how some men were expecting us to be willing to be fucked in the arse, when some of them would freak out if you even tried to put a finger in there.
Living in the moment
I’m addicted to my phone. I have it with me all the time. I check it probably hundreds of times a day. I spend hours messaging people and hours on social media. It runs my life. Phone addiction is a real thing, and I’m sure there are people reading this that have the same problem.…
The Best Kind of Sex
The best kind of sex is the sex you didn’t know you would be having when you woke up that morning. The kind that blindsides you some idle Monday, because you thought he had a girlfriend, and you wouldn’t get to fuck him again for a very long time. And yes you said you were…
Why I gave up casual sex
I re-joined OkCupid a few weeks ago. I’m not sure why. I think I was probably bored. Or maybe I just wanted some attention. I guess I thought maybe it would help me get laid. ‘Why do I need help getting laid?’ I hear you ask – well there were a few guys I know…