Ok so it’s not the first time I’ve fucked a 20 year old.
Other times this has happened:
- At 19, when I lost my virginity to a 20 year old.
- At 28, I fucked a 20 year old who was very kinky – he choked me, stuck his fingers down my throat, and came all over my face. Then he had the cheek to ask me to lend him £20, as he’d lost his bank card, along with some headphones, so he could listen to some music on the way to Fabric. #youngpeople (To his credit I did get them both back).
But now I’m in my 30s.
So is 20 too young?
It was the Friday before Halloween, and I went to my friend’s warehouse party. Here is a picture I took while getting ready, before I put my dress on.If that’s not a picture that says ‘I’m getting laid tonight’, I don’t know what is.
After about an hour of being there, this boy came over to me. He said the party was ‘lit’. Apparently that’s a word young people are using a lot at the moment.
Me: How old are you?
Him: How young would you go?
Me: Um…18 maybe
Him: I’m 20
Me: Oh good
In my head: I’m glad he’s not 18
I did also check his id to make sure he was actually 20, because unlike Kevin Spacey, I like to practice challenge 25 when it comes to random guys I meet at parties.
And so it went on. He had all the cockiness of a 20 year old who knows that he is hot, but I kind of liked that. He seemed sure of the fact that he was coming home with me that night, and I felt he would be too, but wanted to make him work for it a bit. He was cute, blond, and skinny, and I was definitely attracted to him. His banter was a bit second rate, but he didn’t seem to mind me telling him his jokes were shit (as well as twisting his nipple pretty damn hard within about 2 minutes of meeting him).
He said I was a ‘freak’ like him, which made me think of the Sugababes song. Ah early 2000s nostalgia. He asked me if I was into candle wax, so I told him about my candles designed specifically for wax play, and the night descended into flirting, kissing, and talking about what we were going to do to each other. He also asked me if I had any anal beads. (Do I look seem like the sort of woman who doesn’t have anal beads?!) I’d ran out of my wine pretty quickly, so it was also handy meeting him, as he kept giving me some of his rum and coke and I didn’t have to walk to the fucking shop. We hung out in his friend’s room and made out. We talked about having kinky sex, and he choked me, we slapped each other, and he sucked and bit on my nipples.
Eventually we went back to mine, and I asked him what kind of music he wanted to listen to – he said ‘Disclosure’ (no idea) so I found it on Spotify (seemed to be a mix of artists) and put on an album.
I sat on top of him on the bed, we were kissing, and I picked up a bottle of water and poured it all over him, soaking his white T-shirt, because let’s be honest, all white clothes look better when wet.
He looked initially annoyed, but then resisted when I tried to take his shirt off before tying him up, so perhaps he liked the feeling of the damp fabric stuck to his skin. I tied him to my bed with duct tape, and slapped him round the face several times. He deserved it for his earlier cockiness.
I pulled his t-shirt up to expose his nipples, lit a candle, and dripped wax all over them, and the rest of his chest. He writhed in a sexy ‘I’m in pain but I like this’ sort of way, and I thought I’m definitely enjoying my dominant side at the moment.
I remember untying him and him fingering me. It was okay, not the worst I’ve ever had, but my g-spot wasn’t exactly bursting with joy, ready to write its own blog post about it. I started playing with his cock, but there were no signs of life. He had mentioned he’d taken a bit of cocaine earlier in the night, (but had stopped when he knew we were going back together) and he had drank a lot, but I suspect he was also a bit intimidated by me. What a loser. #banter
Anyway, I sucked his dick diligently, and eventually it got just hard enough to put a condom on. We had sex for a bit with me on top, then it fell out, so we switched to doggy, and he put his thumb in my arsehole, which always feels oddly satisfying for me. I think men must know that it’s an instant way to improve mediocre sex. He spanked me a little, and we were getting into it for a while. But eventually I got a bit bored, so I stopped and I took my vibrator out, and even though it felt like my batteries were running out, I just about managed to cum. I thought it was funny that my ejaculate fluid on my bed made a dick shape. It was almost like my pussy was saying ‘ha ha I don’t need you’.
He tried to wank over me, but he couldn’t cum, so we went to sleep. I think he felt a bit disappointed about not being able to fuck ‘all through the night to the early morn’ and said he was going to fuck me properly the next day.
At around 8am in the morning I caught him taking a photo – I had heard the clicking noise, so I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was taking a selfie, as his friend had asked him where he was. #20yearolds
He swiftly got dressed, left sheepishly, and I haven’t heard from him since. Ah a true one night stand.
So here are the lessons I have learnt (yes sometimes you gotta learn a lesson more than once)
- One bottle of wine is not enough for a party
- I should have used the anal beads on him while he was tied up
- I often enjoy flirting, kissing, and kinky foreplay more than actual penetration
- I need to get some Viagra or similar, as this has happened way too many times for me not to have some on standby
- That Sugababes video is weirder than I remember
- 20 probably is a bit too young